How Here, My Dear Mirrors Marvin Gaye's Romantic Reality

Trace Marvin Gaye's journey from love-struck ballads to raw divorce anthems.

Dec 15, 2023

Marvin Gaye was enchanted by doo-wop’s three-minute serenades of youthful innocence in the 1950s, harmonies that spoke of an unblemished love. This idea captivated him. “I was in love with the idea of love,” he confessed. But he knew well that treating pop music’s dreamy narratives as gospel could lead one’s world to shatter: commitments could dissolve, joy could turn bitter, and marital discord could emerge. Despite this knowledge, Gaye often found himself yearning for a reality free from such heartache, though his songs hinted at a more complex truth.

In 1963, Gaye, then 24 years old, wed Anna Ruby Gordy, who was 17 years his senior and sister to Motown Records’ founder Berry Gordy. Reflecting on their union later in life, Gaye revealed to biographer David Ritz that his intentions were strategic: “Marrying a queen might not make me king, but at least I’d have a shot at being prince,” indicating his hope that the marriage would propel his singing career forward.

For some time, it seemed Gaye had seized the fairytale romance he longed for. He and Anna adopted a son, and the joy in his heart during those days is palpable in hits like “How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved by You).” Yet before long, fidelity faltered, and disputes flared. Raised with stringent religious beliefs, Gaye grappled with reconciling notions of love and desire. This internal conflict fueled some of his most profound work but also spelled ruin for his role as a spouse.

Adding complexity to his struggles were deep-seated psychological issues—namely, Oedipal and “Madonna-whore” complexes. His first sexual encounter was with a sex worker, and he continued to solicit their services throughout much of his adult life. Simultaneously, he idealized his mother as the epitome of womanhood—an esteem so high that no other woman could match, including Anna, whom he sometimes called “Mama.” Throughout the ‘60s, as Anna used her influence to help elevate her husband’s star, she couldn’t become the redemptive figure he sought. Marvin Gaye articulated this dilemma with disarming honesty: “Without Anna, how could I reach my next plateau? With Anna, though, how could I ever be a happy man?”

He was a prominent figure in Motown’s roster of talent during the late 1960s, delivering performances infused with his tribulations. As his marriage to Anna unraveled amidst mutual infidelity, his renditions, notably the haunting “I Heard It Through the Grapevine,” echoed with a sense of betrayal. In 1969, he channeled this turmoil into the creation of M.P.G., an album where love’s narratives were spoken in the past tense—a reflection of their fractured relationship.

Yet despite the tensions, Marvin and Anna remained legally bound; neither was ready to sever ties completely. Fears of losing favor with Motown head Berry Gordy plagued Marvin, while Anna clung to her status as the wife of a celebrity.

As the dawn of the 1970s brought forth new creative freedoms for Marvin, exemplified by his groundbreaking release What’s Going On, his personal life also underwent significant changes. At 33, he found himself enamored with Janis Hunter, who was only 16 at the time. Their romance swiftly escalated, resulting in the birth of their first child even as Marvin’s marriage to Anna lingered unresolved.

The landscape of American marital dynamics was shifting dramatically when Anna initiated divorce proceedings in 1975—the same year that national divorce statistics reached a milestone, surpassing one million. A multitude of factors contributed to this surge: shifts in societal values, diminished religious influence, reformed divorce legislation, and an emerging culture that prioritized individual rights over communal obligations—a stark contrast from previous generations that valued loyalty and duty, such as Marvin’s mother who endured an abusive marriage without seeking separation.

Amidst these evolving attitudes toward marriage and divorce, Marvin resisted conforming to legal mandates following the dissolution of his union with Anna. Ordered to pay substantial sums for alimony and child support, he defiantly rebuffed compliance. His actions and words outside the recording studio revealed a less accommodating side—one unapologetically chauvinistic and resistant to change—incongruent with the sensitivity often attributed to his musical persona.

Marvin Gaye’s financial troubles were no secret; his lavish spending on drugs and ill-advised investments left him in a precarious position when faced with a divorce settlement demanding a hefty sum. With a million dollars out of reach, his attorney presented an unconventional proposal: $600,000 would settle the matter, split between an advance for Gaye’s upcoming album and its subsequent royalties. It was a gamble that seemed preposterous, yet Gaye consented.

The tumultuous end to his marriage coincided with the creation of Here, My Dear in 1977, which turned out to be a profound musical exploration rather than the indifferent effort he initially envisioned. The 73-minute record stood alone in Gaye’s discography, both in length and in the depth it reached, emerging from strife but transcending into something far beyond mere acrimony or endless back-and-forth accusations. The work reflected a mature consideration of complex emotions and societal shifts.

With an opening declaration that sets the tone—“I guess I’ll have to say this album is dedicated to you”—Gaye delves into the narrative through the lens of doo-wop with “I Met a Little Girl.” Here, he infuses the classic sound he adored with seasoned introspection. Singing every part himself, Gaye creates a harmonious expression of pain. Despite his opposition to the women’s liberation movement at the time, his music conveys empathy and shared responsibility for heartache. As much as he laments the change in “I Met a Little Girl,” there’s also acceptance—a serene longing underscored by rich orchestration and deliberate tempo. In another piece entitled “Anger,” he examines the destructive nature of fury instead of succumbing to it, possibly finding clarity in the gradual dissolution of his relationship over the years.

The album follows Gaye’s established ‘70s style as an album driven by rhythm. Rather than commanding immediate attention, vocals and melodies invite patient discovery within steady arrangements. The album revisits themes across several tracks named “When Did You Stop Loving Me, When Did I Stop Loving You,” each carrying similar motifs like refrains pondering unresolved feelings amidst smooth saxophone lines. Even as Gaye occasionally breaks form—for instance, shouting “An-na!”—the music maintains its composure, offering solace amidst retrospection on tracks such as “Sparrow” and “Anna’s Song,” where jazz-infused foundations allow reflections of past joys to unfurl gracefully.

Here, My Dear echoes the complexity of his personal life, mingling elements of discord with moments of harmony. In the track “Is That Enough,” Gaye infuses legal jargon from divorce proceedings with a coolness that belies the underlying tension, critiquing Anna’s financial demands in a manner both smooth and biting:

“What could I do/The judge said she got to keep on living/The way she accustomed to.”

“You Can Leave, But It’s Going to Cost You” portrays Gaye as trapped by his former partner’s influence, echoing her alleged ultimatums throughout the song. He addresses the cost of pursuing joy while entangled in relational strife, referencing his relationship with Janis: “That young girl is going to cost you,” he intones, linking happiness with monetary sacrifice.

Gaye’s work also includes an earnest call for absolution that would not be out of place in his earlier work, What’s Going On, coupled with an upbeat encouragement to overcome life’s obstacles. However, it was the eight-minute number about interstellar intimacy, “A Funky Space Reincarnation,” that stood out for its unusual subject matter—featuring futuristic terms like “plutotized” in a “plutotarium”—though perhaps more for its novelty than thematic cohesion.

Despite its rich content, Here, My Dear did not climb the charts, peaking at No. 26 amidst a sea of disco giants such as Chic and Bee Gees in early 1979. Anna’s reaction to the album was one of disapproval, citing the intimate revelations within the lyrics as breaches of their shared confidences. She contemplated a substantial lawsuit against Gaye but ultimately did not pursue it; later, displaying grace under pressure, she posthumously accepted an honor on his behalf into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 1987.

The decision by Marvin Gaye to remarry shortly after finalizing his divorce might seem curious given his tumultuous history, but perhaps it represented an optimistic pursuit of contentment despite past adversity. Nonetheless, marital bliss remained elusive as Gaye admitted to feeling ensnared once again in an unhappy union following his marriage to Hunter—a stark contrast to fleeting instances of delight captured in songs like “Falling in Love Again.” Here, we witness Gaye voicing fervent appeals for love against the backdrop of impermanence, encapsulating the dichotomy of his quest for lasting fulfillment versus the transitory nature of happiness.